Playground Prophecies

Today is the last time you will drink an Orbitz soda.

Today is the last time Nickelodeon will release a new episode of Doug.

Today is the last time you will spend with your third grade best friend before they move away.

Today is the last time you will be unaware of taxes.

Today is the last time you will apply a Bonne Bell Flip Shade.

Today is the last time you will kiss your first boyfriend.

Today is the last time you will attend high school.

Today is the last time you will enjoy the first day of Summer Break.

Today is the last time you won’t know who Radiohead are.

Today is the last time you will encounter your childhood bully.

Today is the last time you will own a functioning lava lamp.

Today is the last time you will avoid swimming in the deep end.

Today is the last time you will let someone else get the last ham and cheese sub from the cafeteria.

Today is the last time you won’t know how to dissect a frog’s leg.

Today is the last time you will pick on that kid just to make yourself feel better.

Today is the last time you will be pre-pubescent.

Today is the last time you will play laser tag without a mouthguard.

Today is the last time you will be shorter than your father.

Today is the last time you will buy J-14 magazine.

Today is the last time you will be injury-free.

Today is the last time you will afford a home.

Today is the last time you will be unsure which major to choose.

Today is the last time you will ache from the wound.

Today is the last time you will have.