Notes from the Council of the Yoshis

Convened the fifth day of August, 1995, noontide, Yoshi’s Island

Council Chair: Blue Yoshi

Attending Yoshis: Green, Pink, Yellow, Purple, Brown, Red, Light Blue

Discussion: The Matter of the Screaming Bundle

Blue Yoshi (BlY): Green Yoshi, what have you brought the Council today?

Green Yoshi (GrY): A screaming bundle!

Yoshis in attendence cluck and chirrup with interest.

BlY: Does the Screaming Bundle have an identifying colour we may address it by?

GrY: Uh…red?

Red Yoshi (ReY): But I’m Red Yoshi!

BlY: The Screaming Bundle does not appear to be a Yoshi, so we shall not address it as Red Yoshi. Are there any other markings?

GrY: It has a hat, Your Dinoship. With the letter “M” on it.

BlY: A hat with the letter “M” on it? That is the creature’s pattern?

GrY: Yes, Your Dinoship!

BlY: Then our first ruling will be the matter of the Screaming Bundle’s name. I move we call the Screaming Bundle “Light Red Bundle.” Who will second the motion?

Pink Yoshi (PiY): Rejected! I reject the name!

BlY: Your grounds, Pink Yoshi?

PiY: That name is much too long! Have we not learned from the plight of Light Blue Yoshi?

Yoshis chirrup in agreement. Light Blue Yoshi looks uncomfortable.

BlY: Light Blue Yoshi, speak your complaint!

Light Blue Yoshi (LBY): Your Dinoship…living as Light Blue Yoshi…it is pale! Do not curse the child with a name they cannot match! They will be doomed to a lifetime of confused identity.

ReY: I second Light Blue Yoshi’s complaint! I do not want a little colour sibling!

BlY: As we have already established, Red Yoshi, the Screaming Bundle is not a Yoshi.

ReY: Can we be sure?!

GrY: We have offered it the food of Yoshis and it would not feed.

Purple Yoshi (PuY): What does the creature eat?

GrY: It appears to subsist entirely on pasta.

PuY: White or red sauce?

BlY: Gentleyoshis! We are drifting from the matter at hand! What shall we name it?

PuY: How about “Mario?”

BlY: “Mario?” “Mario.” Fine, okay, “Mario” is the name. Will a Yoshi second the motion?

Yellow Yoshi (YY): I think Mario is cute!

BlY: Good enough. All in favour?

Assembled Yoshis chirrup in solemn agreement.

BlY: Great. The Screaming Bundle shall henceforth be called Mario. Now that we have resolved…one matter on the agenda, we shall move to the second matter: what will we do with the baby Mario?

PuY: The volcano is lovely this time of year!

PiY: For visiting?

PuY: For roasting!

BlY: You suggest we roast the baby Mario?

PuY: Aye!

BlY: This is an unusual level of bloodlust and vengeance, even from you, Purple Yoshi.

PuY: I thought it was food, Your Dinoship!

Yoshis chirrup in disgust.

BlY: It seems we agree that we will not cast Mario into the volcano. Are there any other suggestions?

Brown Yoshi (BrY): A yoshi of similar age would already show signs of their abilities. Has the baby exhibited any special talents?

GrY: Well, Mario seems to have only one skill at present.

BrY: Only one? Tragic! An infant yoshi would already be jumping and producing eggs at this age!

LBY: Truly, the growth curve of babies in red hats is worrisomely slow.

Yoshis cluck in agreement.

BlY: Green Yoshi, can Mario show us the skill?

GrY: Bring me a potted pirahna plant.

PuY: A pirahna plant? Too dangerous!

GrY: It is the only way you will believe me. Fetch the plant.

Light Blue Yoshi is nominated to retrieve the piranha plant. It is only a seedling, but still viscious, its pot already cracked from the strain of containing the monster.

GrY: Put the plant on the ground. You will see.

Green Yoshi puts Mario down on the ground. The baby gurgles and laughs until it spots the plant. Mario stares at the pirahna plant drooling and chomping, taking its measure. Mario begins crying, a keening wail to pierce the hearts of men…and plants. The pirahna plant screeches in pain before retracting into the pot.

Yoshis gasp.

GrY: You see, my fellow Yoshis, the creature bears a terrible power.

BrY: The power…it’s incredible!

YeY: Think of the gardens we could reclaim!

PiY: Think of the enemies we could vanquish!

*All Yoshis turn to the East. There, a horrible fortress blights the horizon, smoke smudging the sun.

GrY: Perhaps…there is One who was chosen to drive Him away.

PiY: There were legends…

LBY: The One would fall from the sky…

BlY: We must test the prophecy.

GrY: And if the child fails?

BlY: Perhaps he has a brother who may be more successful.

GrY: And if the child succeeds?

BlY: He will be rewarded with our protection and an apprenticeship in a good trade, one where his power will not be exploited for evil. A plumber, perhaps.

ReY: A motion, then: we take the child to Bowser! What say you all?

All Yoshis chirrup in agreement.

BlY: Gentleyoshis, you must saddle up. We relay the child anon.